NASHVILLE- The band Kings of Leon announced this morning that they are officially entering into the contest for "Worst Artist of 2009." While this does not come as much of a surprise to music insiders who suspected that the band might enter after their heinous 2008 singles "Sex on Fire" and "Use Somebody," it does represent significant competition for those hoping to claim the title this year. The band, consisting of the Followill brothers from Nashville, TN, have released two singles in 2009, which combined with their 2008 releases, mean that their music is providing a constant aural assault on radio stations across the country.
Leader singer, Anthony "Caleb" Followill, explained "We think 2009 could really be our year. With no major 2009 releases from artists like Kid Rock or Nickelback, we believe that we, quite possibly, have the worst music playing on the radio right now. Whether we win or not, that's really something to be proud of."
Unlike artists Kid Rock or Nickelback who specialize in aggressive, "in-your-face" douchebaggery, Kings of Leon's reputation for terrible music comes from sheer mediocrity. According to Jennifer Hernandez, writer for Rolling Stone, "We haven't seen music this unoriginal and lame since Three Doors Down. What Kings of Leon are doing right now represents a significant achievement in uninspired rock music that will be hard to top."
Despite what appears to be a strong position in this year's contest for Worst Artist, there does remain stiff competition. After releasing their latest album, No Line On The Horizon in December of 2008, U2 has released three singles in 2009, including the atrocious "Magnificent" and the lyrical masterpiece "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight." When asked about this opposition for the title, guitarist Cameron "Matthew" Followill replied "Of course we're aware of U2. They've been sucking for a long time now, at least since Pop back in '97. And the garbage that they've put out this year has been really bad. But we're not going to let that get us down. I mean, have you heard "Sex on Fire"? It's abominable. We've just got to get out there, play the most boring music we possibly can, and know that we've got this thing in the bag. We're rockstars after all."
Kings of Leon's latest suckfest, Only by the Night, can be purchased on Itunes, or heard every 15 minutes on at least four of your local radio stations.
Brother of Pearl
18 hours ago