Saturday, January 17, 2009

The black "dress" shirt


Let's go ahead and get something out of the way. Under no circumstance is a black "dress" shirt an acceptable choice. Yes, I know you see them all over MTV and "Access Hollywood," but that doesn't mean that it actually looks good, especially if you are a pasty white guy.

Whether you are wearing it with jeans, with black pants, with a jacket, or with a black suit ("for that monochromatic look"), you do not look cool or cosmopolitan--you look like a moron.

Yes, your girlfriend may suggest that you wear it, and may tell you that it is "so in right now," but don't believe her, she doesn't have any idea what she is talking about. It has been scientifically proven that women know absolutely nothing about men's clothing, so if you're going to start ignoring her advice (like you should), this is as good a time as any.

Somewhere along the way someone came up with the "genius" idea to pair a black shirt a tuxedo. This was about the worst idea since the all-white "tuxedo."

Unfortunately, the suggestion that wearing black dress shirts (and black in general) has been going around the men's fashion circles for a while now. Just look at this suggestion from "Ronnie" from the show "Make Me A Supermodel" (whatever that show is):

"When going to an event and you don’t know the dress code -- simply dress business casual. For men black pants, black button down shirt, black belt, black socks and black shoes. For the women black pants and a solid color blouse or modest dress, nothing too loud. Its always better to play it safe than to stick out like a sore thumb."

No, if you want to look like a tool, follow this advice. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd be taking advice from a guy who dresses like this anyways.

Anyways, leave the black shirts for the rock stars and douchebags at the club (not to be confused with "The Club").


The Blushing Hostess said...

Could NOT possibly agree more! Lordy! Thankful someone said this!

Anonymous said...

I hate dark dress shirts in general, but especially black. It seems to be the choice shirt for formals among the fraternities at my school.

Unknown said...

I could not agree more. People in black shirts look awful, plus anything white seems to stick to it. ( Lint, chalk, potato salad.)

heavy tweed jacket said...

Black dress socks, yes. Black tie, of course. Black Watch, splendid. But there is no such thing as a black dress shirt. All the guys wearing these should read your blog.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, got to disagree with you here. Black shirts can be classy, although not everybody can pull it off without looking like a douche. I personally cannot stand white dress shirts since it becomes so easy to tell what type of undershirt you're wearing- which I think is the tackiest aspect of the white shirts.

Unknown said...


For one thing, working in the printer industry, wearing white is for morons.

Despite my God given right and responsibility to remain a Man in Black, I've seen others make it work just as well. A sharp black shirt, with a proper tie either complimenting the pants or jacket, or black tie with a subtle color design, can look very nice.

On the other hand, some people will never look classy, regardless of whet they're wearing.