Nanerpuss: Best. Commercial. Ever.

Way to go, Denny's.

J. Crew Timex military watch, redux

Photo courtesy of Alan's Vintage Watches

In my post last November, I provided some alternatives to the Timex military watch that J. Crew is currently selling. The other day I received an email from Alan at Alan's Vintage Watches telling me that he had a review, with a number of photos, of the J. Crew Timex on his website. While I am not generally a favor of people soliciting their websites like that, after taking a look at his page, I realized that it really was worth sharing. If you didn't want one of these watches before, after reading his page, it just might change your mind. Check out the review here.

I want this:

Maybe I've been hanging out with "bike people" a little too much lately, but while perusing craigslist I came across this Trek 412 road bike. Not only does it appear to be in great condition, it's actually my size. If only I had $200... (Paypal donations gladly accepted).



The same guy also had this Peugeot road bike listed, but I believe it has since sold (probably for the best, for my sake). Both bikes have that great 80s look to them. Awesome.

Dream Car update: Pre-1992 Mercedes 300TE

Some of you long-time readers might remember my Dream Car post a while bike in which I pined for a 1985 Mercedes 300TD. Well, because I saw how high the price of diesel got up, I started having second thoughts, but after seeing this series of videos from the British car show Fifth Gear, my mind has been changed and a pre-1992 wagon (non-diesel) is top of the list now. Enjoy.

Sun Kil Moon and Fleet Foxes

For Christmas, my brother gave me an Itunes gift certificate. This is really a great gift for someone who used to list 10+ CDs on his Christmas list every year. While my current "wanted" list is still quite extensive, I had a pretty quick time making up my mind about what to purchase with my $15 on Itunes.



First, I chose April by Sun Kil Moon. Sun Kil Moon is essentially a side project by Mark Kozelek, who is most well-known for his other band, Red House Painters (and also stars as the rock star in the terrible movie Shop Girl). To be honest, I haven't really listened to Red House Painters, and actually wasn't familiar with Kozelek until he released his first Sun Kil Moon CD, Ghosts of the Great Highway, back in 2003. I'm not sure where I originally heard the CD, but I was fortunate enough to receive it for my birthday the following year from my friend, Heatherly. Frankly, Ghosts of the Great Highway is in my top five albums that I own. I never get tired of listening to it. I can also listen to it year-round, since I seem to base my listening choices around the current season and weather.



Anyways, since it was cold and gloomy outside back in December, and since Kozelek's musical style generally does seem to fit with a quieter time of the year, I decided to purchase April. I have been listening to it for the past months and have to say that I have really been enjoying it. The first songs, "Lost Verses" and "The Light," are probably my favorite, but I haven't given it nearly as much play time as Ghosts, so this preference may change at some point. I was really struck by how much of a Nick Drake sound the song "Blue Heron" has; interesting. Anyways, whether this album will prove to be as amazing and have the longevity of Ghosts remains to be seen, but I would recommend it.

As a bit of a side note, before I made my purchase, I was trying to decide between April, which is technically Kozelek's follow-up to Ghosts, and Tiny Cities, which, while technically the second release under the name Sun Kil Moon, is actually a collection of covers of Modest Mouse songs. Not being that big of a Modest Mouse fan, this did have limited appeal to me, though the songs I have heard from it don't sound too bad. Anyways, in reading reviews for the albums on Cokemachineglow, I came across this hilarious Venn diagram that they had comparing Kozelek and Isaac Brock, lead singer of Modest Mouse. I thought it was worth sharing.





The second album I purchased was the self-titled album by Fleet Foxes. I came across this band by some referral on Amazon.com and really enjoyed the song "White Winter Hymnal." Since the rest of the album also has a fairly acoustic/folky sound to it, I thought that it might also be a good winter purchase. Like April, I have really been enjoying it so far. It features some great vocal harmonies, and if you like the singing style of Jim James from My Morning Jacket, you will probably like Fleet Foxes. Plus, with the cover art on the album is pretty sweet.

Tonythedancemachine

A phenomenon has been sweeping the Upstate lately. Frankly, it is the greatest thing from Germany to hit this part of the state since the BMW factory. He is more than a man. He is Tonythedancemachine.



We first became aware of Tonythedancemachine (who I simply refer to as "Tony") about a month ago when some classmates of mine encountered him at one night at one of the Clemson bars. In describing Tony to us the next day, they handed us his business card (which is awesome) and explained that Tony is originally from Germany, doesn't drink, and simply loves to dance. According to our friend, Tony originally came over to the US to work as an engineer, but has recently been going through a divorce and generally sort of a rough patch, and decided that in order to deal with it, he would just dance. Upon further investigation it would seem that he has been visiting various venues up in Greenville for a while, but heard that Clemson was pretty fun, so he apparently makes weekly trips to the Clemson bars nowadays.



Basically his M.O. is this: Tony shows up at a bar, dressed in his tight Levi's, tight Under Armour, and matching brightly colored tennis shows. He walks around a little bit to scope out the scene and then, upon starting to feel the beat, breaks it down. A circle forms around him with everyone watching, laughing and pushing girls in for Tony to dance with. Tony doesn't ever really seem to be phased by this and usually appears to be having a good time. Sometimes the dancing borders on lewd, but it is usually because the girls make it that way. Tony usually stays and dances for a little while, say, half an hour, before making his exit and presumably going to another bar.

I think that Tony can be hired for parties, I'm not exactly sure, but based on the fact that he has business cards and has formed his own LLC, I'm thinking that he does. He is quite internet saavy and has his own website and Myspace page which are both worth taking a look at. On his website you can view more pictures and videos of his impressive dance moves. Overall, I think Tony's a pretty good guy. It seems that he doesn't have ill intentions, and is simply having a good time. He also brings seems to make everyone around him have a better time, so what's not to appreciate about that?

Clemson 74 - Duke 47

I don't really like basketball that much (or any, really), but a 74-47 thrashing of the No. 4 team in the nation seems worth mentioning.

Way to go, Scott

I saw this picture on the Sartorialist today and thought "Finally, that is a look after my own heart." Really, this is just perfect. Fair Ilse. Blazer. Duffle coat. Tortoise glasses. No socks. Manly looking tote bag. Perfect.



This picture was apparently taken in Florence, but based on the guy's red hair and the fact that he isn't dressed like a moron, he must be from another country.

On "Twilight"

Being a Man, I have not read, nor had any inkling of a desire to read the Twilight series of books that are so popular right now. I have never really been one to get into books that are faddish (I have not read The Da Vinci Code, The Purpose Driven Life, any Harry Potter book or basically any book that has been endorsed by Oprah), but the amount that people (even well-read, literate people!) love these books does seem to border on psychotic. However, I was reading the blog of Birmingham blogger Amanda this morning and she linked a blogger's review, of sorts, of the book that has apparently been around since last March. It was too hilarious to not post here. This is just the first part of the review, entitled "I want to beat Edward Cullen with a stick," but the rest can be found here.

Bad Book Month
In Which I Read Bad Books on Purpose

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

Oh, my. This book justifies Bad Book Month all by itself. It's appalling. The redeeming factors are few and far between (mostly Charlie, because he's sweet; and maybe Jasper), but they're helpless against the overwhelming gag factor.

The most appalling element, however, is how popular this novel is. How many teenage girls are drinking this up and screaming for more. I fear for my gender's future, for what they're learning about love and relationships through this series.

However, I'm not the only one who's noticed the general lack of quality about this book (and its sequels, which I hear just get worse). avadriel posted an insightful, if scathing, review of the book. Reading the one-star reviews on Amazon is also quite fun.

Because of the amount of anti-Twilight stuff out there - though, granted, it only equals the smallest fraction of the pro-Twilight fangirl mania - I'm not going to write a review. I'm not going to go into the disturbing way Bella and Edward's obsessive relationship is portrayed as true love, or how borderline abusive it is, with Bella's complete lack of self outside Edward and Edward's controlling, emotionally unstable behavior. I don't have anything new to say on the topic.

I am, instead, going to provide you with a catalog. A count of various elements in the book, which should give you a feel for exactly how numerous its flaws are.

The Catalog

Number of Pages in the Book: 498
The First Hint of a Plot that Is Not Bella and Edward's Romance: page 328
When the Plot Actually Arrives: page 372

Boys that Totally Love Bella (Including Edward Cullen): 5

Approximate Amount of Time Bella and Edward are Romantically Involved Before Bella Is Begging Edward to Turn Her into a Vampire so They Can Be Together Forever: Like, two weeks. Maybe three. The timeline's a bit fuzzy.

References to Edward's Beauty: 165

Broken Down into the following categories -

• Face: 24 (Favorite adjectives: glorious, heavenly, seraphic)
• Voice: 20 (The voice of an archangel, donchaknow.)
• Eyes: 17
• Movement: 11
• Smile: 10
• Teeth: 8
• Muscles: 7
• Skin: 7 (Note: This only contains accounts of Edward's skin being beautiful. I didn't count references to it as "pale," "cold," or "white." If I had, this number would be about ten times larger.)
• Iron Strength or Limbs: 5
• Breath: 4 (EVEN HIS BREATH IS AMAZING.)
• Scent: 4
• Laughter: 3
• Handwriting: 2
• Chest: 2
• Driving Skills: 1

The Number of Times...

• Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
• Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
• Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
• Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
• Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
• Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
  • Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
    
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
  • Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
• Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
• Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5 (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
• Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
• Edward Sparkles: 3
• Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
  • Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
• Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2 (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
• Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
• Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
• Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0

I would have kept track of how many times Edward's mood shifts unexpectedly and for no reason, but I didn't have that much paper. I am sad, though, that I didn't keep track of how many times words like "granite," "stone," and "marble" are used in reference to Edward. His arms, his lips. Explain to me how kissing cold, marble lips is at all appealing. And yet it makes Bella faint. I give up.

I highly suggest reading the rest of the review, which includes a parody by the author entitled "Duskiness."

The Strokes

I feel like it's probably been at least a year since I've listened to either of the Strokes CDs that I have ("Room On Fire" or "Is This It") but today I have listened to both and I'm not sure why the hiatus has been so long. If you've got either album, I suggest you put it on Play.