This is officially a rant. Brown tuxedos: what are people thinking? As if "tuxedos," or the suits that are passed off as tuxedos, aren't bad enough, someone (a woman, likely) had the terrific idea of making them brown. What was the reason for this? God only knows. I suspect that it had something to do with how popular brown has been in weddings in recent years, and having the groom and groomsmen in brown tuxedos turns them from necessary accessories into necessary accessories that are perfectly coordinated with the rest of the decorations. I find this to be the ultimate insult to masculinity.
As a result, I have two statements to leave you with, dear reader. 1.- If you are a woman reading this and remotely interested in marrying me, do understand that I will not only never consider wearing a brown tuxedo to our wedding, I will allow you absolutely zero influence on what my groomsmen and I will wear. 2.- If you are a man reading this and about to marry a woman who is trying to pick out your tuxedo for your wedding, please do not listen to anything she says and drop me an email immediately. I will be glad to help pick out something to make you look proper and dashing, so that I do not have to later scoff at your wedding pictures on Facebook.
Double Douche (and obviously whipped)
Brother of Pearl
17 hours ago