Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Brown "tuxedos"

This is officially a rant. Brown tuxedos: what are people thinking? As if "tuxedos," or the suits that are passed off as tuxedos, aren't bad enough, someone (a woman, likely) had the terrific idea of making them brown. What was the reason for this? God only knows. I suspect that it had something to do with how popular brown has been in weddings in recent years, and having the groom and groomsmen in brown tuxedos turns them from necessary accessories into necessary accessories that are perfectly coordinated with the rest of the decorations. I find this to be the ultimate insult to masculinity.

As a result, I have two statements to leave you with, dear reader. 1.- If you are a woman reading this and remotely interested in marrying me, do understand that I will not only never consider wearing a brown tuxedo to our wedding, I will allow you absolutely zero influence on what my groomsmen and I will wear. 2.- If you are a man reading this and about to marry a woman who is trying to pick out your tuxedo for your wedding, please do not listen to anything she says and drop me an email immediately. I will be glad to help pick out something to make you look proper and dashing, so that I do not have to later scoff at your wedding pictures on Facebook.



Double Douche (and obviously whipped)


Elisa M said...

Say what you will-I like Brown suits AND tuxes. But I think that having men wearing the exact same color for your wedding is douche (can women be douches?). I don't really get the whole everyone matchy, matchy thing AT ALL.
you seem extremely bothered by this.
can we still get married?

Anonymous said...

Only the first resembles formalwear to me, do to the shiny lapels. The rest look like suits. No 2 looks like a nice suit. No 3 has a funny tie.

Now that summer is upon us, I'm just thankful when people choose to cover up their tattoos. They can wear anything they want.

Kim said...

You can marry my daughter, she's the only girl I know who doesn't give a crap about weddings and told me that if she ever gets married I can just take care of it for her because she doesn't care. (no problemo-you can get married at the church, we'll have the reception at the garden center just down the street from the house...whew, that was easy)

I agree on the brown thing, and I just read something about brown tuxes somewhere the other day and thought....ewwwwww.

trip said...


That sounds like an excellent deal, as I am mutually afraid that many of my own requests for the wedding, hymns, vows (I'll probably dig up some old Puritan ones), etc., will likely be put aside by whoever it is that I marry or one of those Nazi-esque wedding planners.

(Having perused your blog before, I must say that you do have two lovely daughters)

Kim said...

I think we'll get along just fine. I had to beg to throw out the "new" hymnal and use the vows from the "old" hymnal when I got married, so I know where you're coming from.

I imagine she'd agree to just about anything but "obey"...since she won't obey me either!

Anonymous said...

My fiance saw that my groomsmen were getting peak lapel, single button, black dinner jackets with black cummerbunds, bow ties, and laydown collar shirts and said "good work." She's a keeper.

However, if you DO get the brown tux, you'll need these: http://cgi.ebay.com/mens-Tuxedo-Dress-shoes-Nettleton-4-Jefferey-Banks-10-5_W0QQitemZ120281588073QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item120281588073&_trksid=p3286.m14.l1318

trip said...


Those are some crazy shoes. And while my first impression was to be appalled, they are actually good looking opera pumps, and being made by Nettleton, they probably are quality. I just have no idea what someone would wear them with.

Congrats on the wedding, by the way.